I was lucky to have some weekdays off from work, and I decided to spend them exploring downtown, as documented in this week's posts. Part of exploring a place is to think about what it would be like to live there. I was walking along San Pedro Street, and saw a sign for a new residential complex, offering tours of its model apartments. So I decided to check it out.I could approach this post a couple of different ways. I could do an ironic take on the new affluent condo-community living down amongst the puebla in the gritty streets. Or I could write a boosterish promo of downtown living for the hip and cool.
In the late 70's, I lived in a large room in an old cast-iron-facade building on the corner of Broome Street and Greene Street, a manufacturing area of Manhattan that was only just beginning to be called "SoHo." I paid $150 a month to a painter named Kimiko for a bedroom behind a nailed up partition. I remember when I would come home from working in the theatre at night, I walked down the middle of the cobble-stoned streets from the subway stop. That way you could avoid the smell of piss from the bums who slept in doorways, and besides, there were no cars or taxis driving those streets, in those days.
So the idea of living in an edgy environment is both intriguing - and familiar. I know that it's not scarey. My experience enriched my life.
Plus, as an avid consumer of decorating magazines I like the style of living downtown. I like the contrast, crystal chandeliers against rough concrete walls. Like any American consumer, I'm an easy sell on that stuff. How romantic - how hip!
But hold up.
The reason I rented from Kimiko, and the reason she needed a roommate was because we didn't have many other choices. She paid the rent by selling paintings. She needed a space to paint in, and it had to be cheap. I paid the rent by working free-lance in the theatre. I needed a place to sleep in, and it had to be cheap. If we had a crystal chandelier edgily juxtaposed against the rough concrete walls, it was because I found in in the trash over on Allen Street and I brought it home to replace a bare hanging light bulb.
These new downtown lofts are another thing entirely. They're not for those who scuffle.
It's a large industrial building, six floors high, dating from the middle part of the 20th century, with sturdy walls and floors and large concrete structural columns. As designed, the primary access is from the parking garage - residents and their guests are most likely to arrive by car; park in their designated spot, and enter the complex.
The security guard at the electrically controlled gate on San Pedro Street was a little surprised that I came from the sidewalk teeming with homeless people - did I not have a car?
He let me in and sent me to the next buzzer-accessed gate, where I met a salesperson named Nicole. Her office was airy and open, with hardwood flooring, modular furniture, and Asian-inspired decor. Lush oriental rugs were on the floor. I told Nicole that my husband and I were considering a downtown condo for Our Son, who would soon be graduating college, and entering the work force. She bought my story - which may almost be true - and didn't seem to mind my casual attire (including my brand new heart-and-skull vans). She offered coffee, tea, water - I opted for a bottle of water.
I was given an elaborately designed sales brochure - heavy stock, cut-outs, folded pockets - and off we went to tour the models.
First we saw the serene pool lounge area, screened from the street on the ground level.
All the model units are fully furnished, with all kitchen and bath appliances, finished hardwood floors, and individual climate-control systems. Stacking washer-dryer units in each apartment.
Nicole said there are some 140 units in the building; about 80% already sold. The 6 model units range in price from around $350,000 to around $700,000.
The building, she said, is fully WiFi networked.
I asked Nicole about the neighborhood. Was it safe at night? Were there places to shop for groceries? Walk the dog? Restaurants and bars? Oh, yes, wonderful nightlife, she said, only you want to stay to the north side of the neighborhood, rather than veering south, where you get into where the Missions are. She stressed the convenience of having onsite reserved parking - which made it so easy to grocery shop anywhere. There is even an enclosed dog-run within the secure complex.
It seems like you could live quite comfortably here and hardly ever encounter the smell of piss on the sidewalks of San Pedro Street.

Part of me wants to live in this place, with its elegant decor; I can just see myself driving a Mercedes (or no, let's be sustainable - a Prius!) into the garage and ascending the elevator to emerge into my Loft with its crystal chandeliers, artwork on the walls, and its tall metal casement windows overlooking the decrepit neon sign over the Hotel Rosslyn. I can see myself offering a glass of champagne or cabernet to artsy guests - a neighbor, perhaps, just back from an opening at MOCA, or an event at Disney Hall. A gallery owner. An actor.
Yet another part of me wants to burn it all down, spray it with grafitti, reverse the trend, to banish Nicole and her chic black pantsuit, and the pricey printed brochures, and the elegant red market umbrellas to hell and beyond. I want to rent the space behind the vacant windows in this building,
and rent a machine to sand the industrial dirt off the old but sturdy wooden floors. I want to stay up till 3:00 in the morning drunk on cheap wine and the fumes of varnish I apply to the floors myself, and then fall asleep on a futon in the corner. I want to paint a canvas in the morning light streaming through my window - or play my guitar with a pick-up band - or install a bathtub purchased from a salvage house. Before going out to a punk club later that night.Such fantasies are not becoming to middle-aged successfully employed people like me.
If lofts on San Pedro Street are going for $600,000, perhaps only successfully employed people like me can do things like this now.
So - where will the artists live?





There were some other cool ones with fiberoptics! And you could buy figurines that were also lamp-bases, with shades. And how about these tasteless ethnic stereotype kitchen accessories?
You can find anything you want here. As long as you buy it by the dozen. 
There's a block where restaurant supplies dominate. Did you ever wonder where to buy one of those statues of an Italian chef that stand outside the door at some cafes? Right here on Los Angeles Street.
There are a lot of stores selling items printed with crazy punk patterns of skulls, smiley faces, camoflage and cockroaches.
You can buy Kwan Yin figures, Buddhas, menorahs, cherubs, rosaries, saints' candles, and Native American-themed dream-catchers.
There are stores displaying underwear and socks and children's clothes. You can buy perfume and cosmetics. Stores sell fabric trims, such as braid, buttons, fringe, appliques. Then fabric and yard goods take over the street, and suddenly you're down in the Fashion District, near Santee Alley.
All along the street there's as much commerce going on outside the stores as there is inside. Taco trucks pull alongside the curb. Ice cream carts jingle along the sidewalk. Women push baby strollers with trays of cut fruit strapped on top.
I saw a shoe-shine guy, using a folding shopping cart for his set-up.
Another vendor hid her cart behind the screened fencing of a parking lot - you could see and hear her from the sidewalk, and pass through the gate to grab a bite, but the screening kept visibility down. 
On another side street, a taco truck belonging to Juana La Cubana was parked. Her menus featured an assortment of tortas, and listed exotic ingredients like nopales and others I couldn't translate. But she was very popular, with a line of at least 8 customers.
The dress did not fit me properly. It was too tight in the waist - I'm thick-waisted. But the fabric was silky to the touch; the skirt flowed gracefully and spun out if I twirled. Despite the fact that the buttons gaped down the front, the cut of the waist and the picture collar made my waist look nipped in far more than it really is.
She said, "I can take your measurements and make a dress for you with this."



















And please note: that's tuna tartare served on a coconut shell "dish", with a plantain chip spoon. Very nice presentation! 





As you can see, it doesn't really work.
for all your rodent-management needs! It quickly electrocutes rats that wander into it in search of tasty nuggets of dry dog food, and you can easily dispose of them by tipping them into the trash can, with no muss, no fuss!