My rural neighborhood is full of dogs. Almost every house is home to a dog - or two. Neighbors meet one another while dog-walking. Some of us are known by our dog's name, instead of our own human name.
No one likes dog poop dropped on their property, or near the mailbox, or where the car is parked. I carry a little dispenser of plastic bags when I go out with Jack, to pick up his droppings, and so do most of my neighbors.
Last week, some signs appeared on our street, stapled to utility poles. In a kind of perky, passive aggressive slightly guilt-tripping way, they exhorted us to pick up our dog's poop.
But then a few days later, new signs appeared.
They read:
"The law requires pet owners to clean up after their dogs. It seems Encina Road is ignoring the law. It is an environmental hazard since the waste goes down storm drains and is unhealthy.
We know who you are and will report you to the proper agency.
Please carry a bag and clean up so we can all enjoy our environment."
I like the arch, accusatory touch of "it
seems Encina Road is ignoring the law." The chilling fascist touch "
we know who you are" - right out of a scary movie. And how, despite the concern about the environment, the author of this sign has stapled it to our beautiful and protected Coast Live Oak trees. And the nice touch of "please" in the final sentence. All it's missing is a smiley face and "have a nice day!"
You know the old saying:
First they came for the dog walkers
and I didn't speak out because I don't have a dog.
Then they came for the leaf-blowers that work before 8:00 am
and I didn't speak out because I don't hire a gardener.
Then they came for those who mingle their recycling with landfill waste
and I didn't speak out because I always recycle.
Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me.
With some apologies to Pastor Niemoller.
There are always going to be bossy scolds in our lives but this one seems particularly apt to Topanga to me. There is a rich vein of this kind of environmental moralist scold in Topanga, I'm sorry to say.
How do you cope with the holier-than-thou in your neighborhood, home, or workplace?