Bucket List

"The Bucket List" is a 2007 movie staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It's about two terminally ill men, who become friends and decide to devote their remaining time to complete their wish-list of things they want to do before dying - or "kicking the bucket."

We shouldn't have to face death to start thinking about a Bucket List. Here - in no particular order - are some things I'd like to do before I kick the bucket:

1) Learn to surf

2) Visit the South of France

3) Learn to make real puff pastry

4) Learn how to paint with watercolors

5) Tour Sissinghurst Garden in England

What are the top five things on your Bucket List?

Palm Springs

We decided not to take a big vacation this summer. My beach assignment doesn't give me much free time, plus we're trying to keep the bank account healthy. But that doesn't mean we can't make a little getaway.

Palm Springs is about a hundred miles east of L.A. in the high desert in the shadow of the San Jacinto Mountains. The climate is hot and dry, with an average of 354 days of sunshine each year, and just over 5 inches of rain annually. Winters are warm and clear.

This weather made it a perfect winter resort, attracting tourists and retirees ranging from pennypinchers in trailer parks to the wealthy and glamorous folks who commissioned fantastic, homes from architects like Richard Neutra and others. Palm Springs is a treasure trove of Mid-Century Modern architecture, and of antiques and artifacts sold in stores and galleries along Palm Canyon Drive.


As a summer resort - well, you have to wonder about us. It's in the 70s' at the beach, and finally the weather was clear. What did we do? We drove out to a place where the temperature is 108!

The drive out to Palm Springs take you through fields of turning white windmills, generating electricity.

We checked into the Ace Hotel around 6:00 pm. This hipster haven is built on the site of an old Howard Johnson's Motor Inn. A series of stucco-faced buildings with rooms opening onto balconied walkways circle a courtyard planted with drought-tolerant native trees and shrubs, and a swimming pool. Its restaurant, the King's Highway, is a refurbished Denny's, white globe light fixtures hanging like moons above circular booths ranged beneath rustic stone walls.

While we sat at breakfast, I counted the number of diners gazing fixedly at their hand-held devices. Seven (including, for a little while, me).

Our suite had a living room with a sectional sofa, a walk-in shower, and a bedroom with a queen-size futon. On the wall, photos of '70s celebrities were affixed to a wall of slats with binder clips and hooks. Our coffee table was made of salvage steel, with giant casters and protruding hooks, and it was set upon a calf-skin rug.

There were two flat-screen TVs and a real turntable for lps, with a stack of pop albums like Fleetwood Mac's "Rumors." The mini-bar was geared towards guests who like to party - mid-sized bottles of tequila and Jack Daniels were on offer, along with tubs of candy corn, organic energy bars, flavored iced herbal tea, and "Intimacy Kits" - little tin boxes with condoms, lubricant, and flavored gel.


There's a dark cave-like bar, with tattooed bartenders sporting lip-studs. The drinks menu offers artisan cocktails with all-natural organic and herbal ingredients for "muddling" - but, honestly, the reviews on Yelp say the quality is a little spotty and the service is a bit lackadasical.

My cocktail was so weak, I asked the bartender if perhaps I'd been given the wrong menu item. He nonchalantly tipped the gin bottle and glug-glugged another shot into my glass. It was appalling customer service, but he did it with such good nature that I shrugged and cheerfully accepted it.

There were two swimming pools on the property - you could order cocktails and food to be delivered poolside, including adult Sno-Cones (made with alcohol), or even a whole barbecue dinner prepared for you at one of the outdoor fire-pits. The larger swimming pool was the place everyone went to see and be seen. I wandered out there briefly and it reminded me of one of those scenes in a travelogue where the crocodiles lay still in the shallow water, sipping margaritas and awaiting the gazelles who come down to the shore to drink.


The smaller pool was just outside our room, and although a stand-up comedian was working on a monologue in the pavilion next door, the scene was was quieter. We took an evening dip. The water was as warm as a bath.

We toweled off, refreshed, and our skin dried quickly in the hot dry night air. Then we headed to the bar to catch a set played by the band.

My endurance isn't what it was - I had to pack it in around midnight. But when I woke up the next morning at dawn, I got to catch the light show:

6:00 am

6:30 am

7:30 am

The hipsters - and [The Man I Love] - were all still snug in their beds, while I took a walk around and watched the rising sun paint the mountains with color.

If you have a longer stay, you can rent scooters or ride free bikes around town. There's a spa, a bingo night, and DJs on the weekend. Palm Springs is embarking on another century of resort culture - with a new, younger feel.

Road trip!

We're taking a little road trip! A quick adventure out of town, but we'll be back again tomorrow.

Thematic Photographic - Blue

"Thematic Photographic" - Carmi at the blog Written, Inc. presents a weekly themed photographic challenge. This week's theme is BLUE. Check in and see who else contributes photos based on this idea.

Click to "embiggen"

Blue surfboard in a blue ocean beneath a blue sky.

Dancing on the sand

Remember what pure joy feels like.

This little girl is dancing with her reflection on the wet sand. Grandparents and little sister are just beyond the frame.

Thematic Photographic - Blue

"Thematic Photographic" - Carmi at the blog Written, Inc. presents a weekly themed photographic challenge. This week's theme is BLUE. Check in and see who else contributes photos based on this idea.

Colorists say that complimentary pairings across the color wheel are vivid and effective. Here, the combination of blue and orange give a little kick for a special event centerpiece.

French comfort food - California style

We're at a French bistro. Bentwood chairs, pressed-tin ceilings, old-fashioned tile. Waiters in white shirts and black ties, with long black aprons.

I'm having a classic French onion soup, topped with a toasted croute and some gruyere cheese, browned and melted. It's hot, intense, and delicious. A glass of St. Veran alongside is perfect.

A memory of last summer in Paris?


No, it's Santa Monica, California. We're cruising the Third Street Promenade, and checking out the new Santa Monica Place.

Anisette Brasserie occupies the ground floor of one of Santa Monica's most prominent landmarks. Designed by architects Albert R. Walker and Perry A. Eisen, it was built in 1929 for the Bay Cities Guaranty Company, and is a fantastic example of Art Deco style. At 12 stories, it towered over the smaller scale buildings in this beach city for many years. Even though taller buildings have since risen, it's still a landmark in town today.

You wouldn't think that there would be a natural connection between a Southern California beach town and a classic Parisian bistro. But despite the incongruity, it works. The Art Deco movement had its origins in Paris. And the style blossomed in Los Angeles.

So a classic French bistro works beneath the palm trees in Santa Monica. Don't you think so?

And the clock still works.

A Pie a Week - Savory tarts

Since starting my "Pie a Week" project this summer, I've eaten a lot of pie. I have to confess, though, it's not dessert pies I like best - it's savory tarts.

The recipe is pretty basic - You can make a savory tart with almost any combination of vegetables in your fridge. Bake the vegetable and cheese with a rich egg custard, and you have a delicious and elegant lunch or brunch. You can cook one in the morning, and then have a nice dinner in the evening without heating up the kitchen.

First, you have to make the tart shell.

I've become so comfortable with the all-butter pastry recipe from chef Gordon Hamersley that I can make it in a few minutes.

• 1 1/2 cup flour
• 1/2 Teaspoon salt
• 10 tablespoons (1 stick + 2 tablespoons) butter, cut into 1/4" slices
• 6 Tablespoons of ice water.

Mix the flour and salt in a bowl, then cut the butter into it with a pastry cutter, two knives, or your fingertips, until the butter is broken into pieces the size of a pea.

Pour the mixture onto a floured board and make a well in the center. A couple of Tablespoons at a time, mix in the ice water.

Gather the dough together, then roll into a log shape, about eight inches. With the heel of your hand, smear the dough on the board and gather it back together and repeat - this is called fraisage, and will form sheets of butter in the dough, creating the flake.

Shape the dough into a disc and wrap in plastic or foil and put in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

I use a Silpat sheet when I roll pastry dough. With a little bit of flour sprinkled on, I can roll this dough directly with my silicone rolling pin, but if your dough is sticking, you can roll it between two sheets of parchment paper or waxed paper. This dough stays together beautifully for me. If the edge gets misshapen, break off a piece and move it to where there's a gap - it should fill in nicely.

Line a tart pan with a removable bottom with the crust. For me, this dough is so easy to work with I can lift up the Silpat sheet and turn it upside down over the pan. Then I gently ease the sheet off the dough, and settle it into the pan. Trim the excess - you can roll it in a flat disc and freeze it for future use.

For a quiche or tart with custard, you have to pre-bake the shell. Line the shell with foil, and fill with dried beans or rice or pie-weights (you can buy these in cooking supply stores). Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes, then remove the foil and the weights - use a fork to prick any places where there are air bubbles. Bake another 15 minutes, and cool.


What did I have in the fridge? I had some zucchini squash, some onions, and a half a large beefsteak tomato. I shredded the zucchini and chopped the onion, then sweated them in butter over the stove. I sprinkled in some fresh, chopped oregano for a little extra flavor.

I diced the tomato and let some of the liquid drain. I waited until the onion and zucchini were a little caramelized before adding the tomato. I spread the cooked vegetables in the bottom of the tart shell, and then grated some French Comte cheese I had in the fridge.

Then I whipped up a custard with eggs and half-and-half, poured it over the vegetables and cheese, and baked the tart in the oven at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes.

It was pretty when it came out.

And look at how flakey the crust is! Also - buttery and delicious!

The classic quiche Lorraine is a tart with chopped ham or bacon. If you had nothing but an onion in your refrigerator, and some cheese parings, you could make a carmelized onion tart. Fennel would make an interesting tart, maybe with some tomato. You could use mushrooms, or peppers. Mild chiles with cheddar cheese would give a tart a Southwestern twist.

The combination of flavors is endless. And like pizza, it's a great way to use what's left in the fridge to make a great meal without having to go shopping.

Mean Girls

Many authors have written about the unique phenomenon of female bullying, and it's been the subject of popular fiction as well. "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Mean Girls" show on screen how nasty women can be to one another. It happens in every phase of life - school, the workplace, the neighborhood, families. It happens in clubs and gyms and on sports teams.

Non-fiction self-help books about girl-on-girl bullying fill the shelves at the local bookstore, and articles fill women's magazines. There's even a jargon term for what women do to one another - "relational aggression". The bullying tactics include:

• Betrayal - breaking promises or confidentiality
• Exclusion - convincing others to shun the victim
• Gossip - spreading personal information
• Humiliation - shaming the victim in public
• Lies - spreading lies

When a situation goes toxic, it's hard to combat. One reason is that women seem to be able to discern nuanced emotion, and they tend to give weight to finely calibrated gestures. So a subtle sneer of the lip, a sidelong glance, a cold shoulder turned at a precise moment - these things dig at women, while barely registering with men.

I spent the first 18 or so years of my career working mostly with men, in a blue-collar environment, engaged in physical labor that was often dangerous. My co-workers and even the people we worked for tended to be non-conformists, misfits, risk-takers, substance-abusers and outcasts. Conflicts in the workplace were profane, outrageous, and usually brief, concluding with someone's ass getting kicked and everyone else getting drunk and telling stories about it.

I am not used to conflicts where one person gets upset because another person moves a decorative object. I don't know how to deal with that. In fact, sometimes I don't even notice the things one person does that sets another person off.

I'm currently on assignment where I have no direct power, but I'm looked to as a person with knowledge and leadership. I'm here to support workers who are stressed by overwork, inconsistent policies, uncertainty and neglect. I'm here to support a new manager who needs some help.

Have you experienced a situation of "relational aggression" - whether at work or elsewhere? Have you been bullied? Have you had to mediate such a conflict?

How do you defuse a "Mean Girls" atmosphere?